Futurama.

The plan. Have you ever felt that you've got it all planned, what you want to do, where you're going to be, what are the things you want in life and then suddenly you just go blank? From having your life planned out to not knowing anything to wanting to do everything? I guess that's what all teenagers go through, eh?

I still remember when I was 7 years old and my teacher asked me what I wanted to be when I grow up, and I proudly stood up and said I wanted to be a farmer. Yes, a farmer. Looking back, it's no wonder why everyone laughed at me. But I didn't care, I still don't in fact. I find it very fascinating, you know? Milking the cows and such. Heck, I still WANT to milk a cow, and I will! And then, when I was 15, I wanted to be a pilot. I thought it was cool because my uncle, grandfather and cousin is a pilot. I worked hard to make sure I get good grades for PMR and get into the science stream but now that I'm in, I don't want to be a pilot anymore.

Many people has said to me that I'd make a good Lawyer. Well, why not? I get my facts right, I love to talk and I kinda like suspenders too! But, I don't know. I guess after all, I still haven't got it all planned out yet. Sometimes, I just get scared not knowing what I want to do when I finish my SPM. All I know is that I want to be successful, and by the way, everyone has their definition of successful and mine being, being happy in my own skin, providing for my family and indulging myself in luxurious things and growing spiritually and emotionally. Okay, I'm jumping out of topic, bottom line is, it's okay to not know what you want to do in the future. Just focus on the present, live in the moment and when the time comes, you will know what you want to do.

Sometimes, you think you want to do this but you what you actually love to do is that. Know? You don't just know what you want to do immediately, it takes time. We're young, we're supposed to gain as much experience as we can! So don't worry so much about the future and let life come to you. And to those wishing you were still a kid, don't. Because I'm pretty sure the only reason why we wish for that is because life is tough. I bet my bottom dollar that life was beautiful as a teen, you wouldn't want to be a kid again, eh? If we don't grow, we will never learn. Age is just a number, problems are just experiences in disguise that will only make you a wiser person, fail attempts are what makes as stronger as a person. To me, it's okay not being a kid anymore. Because I will always be my parents' little girl and a kid at heart. Never ever let your inner kid go because it's what makes our imagination wild.

“We do not grow absolutely, chronologically. We grow sometimes in one dimension, and not in another; unevenly. We grow partially. We are relative. We are mature in one realm, childish in another. The past, present, and future mingle and pull us backward, forward, or fix us in the present. We are made up of layers, cells, constellations.”

— Anais Nin

ATL