Still fly.

Life is a beautiful struggle, it's a race that we are all running and the finish line is success. Though some of us may scrape our knee during the race, fall down or whateverso. It does not matter, because the only thing that matters is that we pick ourselves up, dust ours shoulders and continue running. Do not envy those who have reached the finish line before you, for envy will get you nowhere. Instead, look up to those people and follow their good traits. Most people are afraid of doing so because they want to be "original". Newsflash, no one is original, we are bits and pieces of everybody. Whether we choose to pick the bad or good depends on oneself but I personally choose to pick out the positive ones.

“We do not grow absolutely, chronologically. We grow sometimes in one dimension, and not in another; unevenly. We grow partially. We are relative. We are mature in one realm, childish in another. The past, present, and future mingle and pull us backward, forward, or fix us in the present. We are made up of layers, cells, constellations.”

—

Anais Nin

ATL

Futurama.

The plan. Have you ever felt that you've got it all planned, what you want to do, where you're going to be, what are the things you want in life and then suddenly you just go blank? From having your life planned out to not knowing anything to wanting to do everything? I guess that's what all teenagers go through, eh?

I still remember when I was 7 years old and my teacher asked me what I wanted to be when I grow up, and I proudly stood up and said I wanted to be a farmer. Yes, a farmer. Looking back, it's no wonder why everyone laughed at me. But I didn't care, I still don't in fact. I find it very fascinating, you know? Milking the cows and such. Heck, I still WANT to milk a cow, and I will! And then, when I was 15, I wanted to be a pilot. I thought it was cool because my uncle, grandfather and cousin is a pilot. I worked hard to make sure I get good grades for PMR and get into the science stream but now that I'm in, I don't want to be a pilot anymore.

Many people has said to me that I'd make a good Lawyer. Well, why not? I get my facts right, I love to talk and I kinda like suspenders too! But, I don't know. I guess after all, I still haven't got it all planned out yet. Sometimes, I just get scared not knowing what I want to do when I finish my SPM. All I know is that I want to be successful, and by the way, everyone has their definition of successful and mine being, being happy in my own skin, providing for my family and indulging myself in luxurious things and growing spiritually and emotionally. Okay, I'm jumping out of topic, bottom line is, it's okay to not know what you want to do in the future. Just focus on the present, live in the moment and when the time comes, you will know what you want to do.

Sometimes, you think you want to do this but you what you actually love to do is that. Know? You don't just know what you want to do immediately, it takes time. We're young, we're supposed to gain as much experience as we can! So don't worry so much about the future and let life come to you. And to those wishing you were still a kid, don't. Because I'm pretty sure the only reason why we wish for that is because life is tough. I bet my bottom dollar that life was beautiful as a teen, you wouldn't want to be a kid again, eh? If we don't grow, we will never learn. Age is just a number, problems are just experiences in disguise that will only make you a wiser person, fail attempts are what makes as stronger as a person. To me, it's okay not being a kid anymore. Because I will always be my parents' little girl and a kid at heart. Never ever let your inner kid go because it's what makes our imagination wild.

“We do not grow absolutely, chronologically. We grow sometimes in one dimension, and not in another; unevenly. We grow partially. We are relative. We are mature in one realm, childish in another. The past, present, and future mingle and pull us backward, forward, or fix us in the present. We are made up of layers, cells, constellations.”

— Anais Nin

ATL

My new eye candy

Meet Andrew Garfield. You might have seen him in The Social Network and FYI, he's also going to play the role of Spiderman in 2012. He's the first male actor that I find really charming and also really sexy like OhmaLord!

Jaeson Ma - Love (feat. Bruno Mars)

Jaeson Ma - Glory ft. Caleb Lin

Food for thought

Here are some pretty awesome quotes I found..

“Nothing turns us into bitter, selfish, dis-satisfied people more quickly than an ungrateful heart”

—	Billy Graham

“I keep forgetting to put focus on my to-do list. I keep forgetting to wander and have fun. I know I’m transparent but my insecurities are in all the right places, so go ahead, have a look.”

Ghandi’s Autobiography-Buddy Wakefield

"Day-to-day people typically think about the things that are going wrong instead of what is going right. This is sadly the norm, but it’s behavior" -DJH

“It isn’t enough to sit on the sidelines and hope for things to get better. You’ve got to ask yourself, ‘What steps am I going to take to get the things in life I want?’ Achieving great goals takes planning, and your life is no different.”

—

Jane Powell

“Do not anticipate trouble or worry about what may never happen. Keep in the sunlight.” – Benjamin Franklin

Rules

Rule #1: Never screw over your friend.

Rule #2: If things seem under control, you aren’t going fast enough.

Rule #3: Don’t believe what you’re told. Double check.

Rule #4: The best way to keep a secret? Keep it to yourself.

Second best? There is no second best.

Rule #5: Don’t trust anyone and rely on your instinct.

Rule #6: Never apologize — Its a sign of weakness.

Rule #7: Always be specific when you lie.

Rule #8: Never take anything for granted.

Rule #10: Never get personally involved in people’s life

Rule #11: When the job is done, walk away.

Rule #12: Never date a someone who's in the same school as you.

Rule #13: If someone looks weird, he/she probably is.

Rule #14: The less you say about you, the less can be use against you

Rule #15: Always work as a team.

Rule #16: Never be unreachable.

Rule #17: The more things change, the more they stay the same.

Rule #18: It’s better to seek forgiveness than ask permission.

Rule #19: Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action.

Rule #20: They can’t hurt you unless you let them.

Rule #21: The truth is outside of all fixed patterns.

Rule #22: Choose your own legacy. It’s for you to decide.

Rule #23:To be legendary, you have to stop being ordinary.

Rule #24: Observe, listen and learn.

Rule #25: Violence is the last resort of the incompetent.

Rule #26: I’m invincible as long as I’m alive.

Rule #28: Try again, fail again. Fail better.

Rule #29: A sharp tongue can cut your own throat.

Rule #30: Building the future and keeping the past alive are one in the same thing.

Rule #31: One thing you can give and still keep.is your word.

Rule #32: You lie the loudest when you lie to yourself.

Rule #33: if things are going wrong : stop and restart

Rule #34: do not expect anything from anyone, and you will not be disappointed

Rule #38: Your idea, your lead.

Rule #39: There is no such thing as coincidence.

Rule #40: If it seems someone is out to get you, they are.

Rule #45: You left a mess, you‘ve got to clean up.

Rule #51: Sometimes — You’re Wrong!

Love.

Love, what is love? Is it that warm feeling you get when you know you've always got someone to lean on? Or is it the rush that passes through your entire body each time you get a glance of that significant person's face? Everyone has their definition of love. In my previous post I said that it takes a lot of courage to embrace this thing called "love" so that is why I salute those people who do. For some of you who don't know me, I am not really a big fan of love well excluding my parents of course. It's a scary thing to fall in love with someone. I came across this quote on tumblr that goes a little bit like this, "love overpowers the mind, possesses the heart and blinds the eyes." I couldn't agree more! When you're in love, everything is nice and dandy but it will not be that way forever because someday, somehow there will be a person who'll get bored of the other, someone will want to call it quits. Even the thought of "how long will this last?" scares the hell out of me because everyone knows that nothing lasts forever. Promises will not be fulfilled, hearts will be broken, words will always just be words, action will not take place and flaws will just be another reason to break up with that person. Honestly right now, that is my definition of love. Might sound a wee bit cold hearted but it's true. I'm not one to open up and tell everything to any Tom, Dick and Harry, I take my time, get to know that person but it'll still be hard for me to trust someone. Inevitably, life is a cycle. You break someone's heart, they'll go on breaking others. You hurt someone, they'll do the same to others. You break someone's trust and forever they'll have trust issues and that's not even the worst part yet but I'm getting to it now. The worst part is that when this so called "messed up" person meets an actual genuine person, he/she will put the burdon on him, make him/her go through all these unnecessary obstacles because the last person she/he was with has broken him/her in to his/her basic elements and I think it's a pity to these people who become a victime to their prey (which is the person who is often called the heart-breaker) but then again, that's life. You have to go through hard times to appreciate the good ones, no? But I have a solution to make everyone feel better when their heart gets broken. Take a deep breath and think about this, that useless person who lead you on and broke your heart will end up falling in love one day too and their heart will be ripped out of their chess due to karma and hopefully, they will learn their lesson because people, the worst thing you can do to someone is lead them on with no intention of being with them at all. I know I'm no saint but that's the most cruel thing to do. It's like taking a cat, putting it in front of a fish and tying him to a wall so it can't run and eat the fish, don't worry, I'm fully aware that I most probably don't make sense right now. But basically what I'm trying to say is this, if you see someone that you are sure you want to be with, go for it. Prove it. If you're just in it to lead them on and whisper sweet things in their ears with the sole intention to give your ego a boost or just to get in to their pants, then just leave. Because this is exactly how the cycle begins. It only takes a few seconds to distinguish your feelings for someone.

"Either you like me or you don't. Don't go in between and send mixed messages. My heart isn't set up for that game of decoding riddles." -Rouge Velvets

ATL

Grenade

It’s been awhile since I last blogged, so bare with me. Just awhile ago, I was listening to Bruno Mars’ new song called Grenade which of course, explains to title of my blog. Anyway, when I first heard it I didn’t really like it. I thought it was rubbish to be honest, but then I clicked a link that lead me to my friend’s blog and on her blog was that specific video so I thought, why not give it another listen? Then it hit me just like that, wow! This song is deep. I mean, it’s about this guy who is completely and utterly in love with a woman who does return the feeling back which is kind of sad especially because he would “catch a grenade for her” it’s not often that you find guys nowadays who are actually committed and devoted to a person. In fact, it’s rare to find anybody who does, agree? Reason being we’re all afraid of getting hurt. Has anybody ever realized that no amount of pain can cause as much pain as heartache? It’s as if once you have your heart broken it’ll never be fixed again, of course you’re able to mend it but there will always be a piece of your heart that belongs to someone who isn’t even yours anymore. I guess, in the end it’s not about saving yourself from heartache. In the end it’s about taking risks, being brave. Because to be in love is like putting your heart on the table and hoping that the other person would not stab it with a knife. Courage, risk, and bravery, that’s what love is all about. To whomever out there who has loved someone so dearly but those feelings are not returned, I give you the utmost respect because to do that takes a lot of courage. So to everyone out there, if you know it’s love and it’s real, don’t run away from it but instead, embrace it. There is not guarantee that you will not get hurt but hey, that that starts sweet ends bitter and that that starts bitter ends sweet. I’m going to wrap this post up with a quote of my own.

“Life is like a box of cigarettes, you never know when it’s going to be your last stick.”

ATL

My bucket list

Here's a list of the things I want to accomplish in life:

1. Stay a virgin till I get married
2. Take over my grandfather's company
3. Forgive everyone who has ever hurt me
4. Reflect on my greatest weakness, and realize how it is my greatest strength
5. Grow Spiritually, emotionally, physically and mentally as a person
6. Accept myself for who I am
7. Score straight A's in SPM
8. Sleep under the stars
9. Overcome my fear of failure
10. Spend three months getting my body into optimum shape
11. Become healthy, wealthy, and happy
12. Make my family proud
13. Become famous for the right reasons
14. Learn to juggle with three balls
15. Learn how to ride a motorbike on an open road
16. Travel all around Malaysia by car
17. Play paintball
18. Help out at the SPCA
19. Plant a tree
20. Go bungee jumping
21. Go skydiving
22. Go deep sea fishing and eat your catch
23. Fart in a crowded space
24. Go up in a hot-air balloon
25. Get a diving certificate
26. Drive a Formula 1 car or Nascar
27. Go white water rafting
28. Run a marathon
29. Swim with a dolphin
30. Learn how to surf
31. Learn how to bartend
32. Learn how to bake and cook
33. Learn to speak a foreign language and make sure I use it
34. Spend a night in a haunted house with my friends
35. Be the first woman to step foot on the moon
36. Go Skiing in Switzerland
37. Travel all around America
38. Visit the McLaren's pub in New York where the casts of How I Met Your Mother always hang out
39. Scuba dive off Australia's Great Barrier Reef
40. Run to the top of the Statue of Liberty
41. Visit the Eiffel tower and other historic places
42. Perform haji
43. Travel all around Europe
44. Spend New Year's Eve in an exotic location
45. Join the Peace Corps
46. Dive to the Titanic on-board a submarine
47. Climb the great Pyramid of Egypt
48. Visit the great wall of China
49. Covert Ops Incredible-Adventures.com
50. Dive with Sharks
51. Visit the African Safari
52. Go back to Sarawak and rebuild the Zoo there
53. Fly a plane
54. Write the novel I know I have inside me
55. Become a millionaire
56. Buy my own house and then spend time making it into exactly what I want
57. Grow a garden
58. Drive a convertible with the top down and music blaring
59. Find a job I love
60. Fall deeply in love -- helplessly and unconditionally
61. Go paragliding.
62. Say yes to everything for a day.
63. Go rock-climbing
64. Crash a party
65. Perform on stage in front of a crowd
66. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol
67. Had a snake as a pet
68. Visited the Gua Niah
69. Meet everyone on my Facebook friend list in person
70. Get back into photography
71. Play an instrument
72. Throw a mega party
73. Live through 4 seasons of the year – Spring, summer, autumn, winter
74. Go deep into the heart of Mother Nature. Go trekking in a rainforest; Camp out in the wilds; Walk in a valley; Visit a waterfall; Swim in an ocean; Walk in a valley
75. Fly a kite
76. Try out vegetarianism for 21 days, then veganism. Followed by raw veganism. Then conclude which is the best diet
77. Experience and OBE (Out of Body Experience)
78. Organize a picnic outing
79. Change the world
80. Purchase my own Ferarri
81. Get into a food fight
82. Milk a cow
83. Hit the "pause" button and choose my attitude towards the situation

84. Visit a drive-in theatre

How bout you? :)