I want to hurt something, or someone. I have so much anger in me. I'm angry.
Angry at the fact that whenever I'm happy, my happiness doesn't last. Every time something good happens to me, it won't last. Or it'll be snatched away from me. I'm just boiling with rage right now, why the fuck can't life be simple? I wish I could erase the past, I'm angry. At myself. At you. At everyone. I wish I could let all this anger out, wish I could just blurt everything. I hate suppressing anger, hate that so much anger has built up inside me I can just be set off in a blink of an eye. Hate that I can't be who I want to be because the past still haunts me, hate that whenever I feel like I'm doing good, like I'm progressing, I get angry because a voice in my head tells me that I'm not a good person and I never will be. Then images of the past just flashes through my mind reminding me of who I was, what I've done and I go back to square one. I hate carrying secrets around. I hate that I get annoyed, irritated and pissed off at the pettiest of things. I hate that I always screw things up. I'm living for nothing but I don't wanna die. I don't wanna die for nothing. I hate the fact that I'm like a mirror. I hate the fucking fact that it all sinks in when I'm alone. I'm angry because every time I know something, someone will make me happy, I cringe and refrain myself because I know that my happiness would be snatched away from me like always. I hate that I hate too much. But most of all, I hate the fact, that I've lost myself.
Angry at the fact that whenever I'm happy, my happiness doesn't last. Every time something good happens to me, it won't last. Or it'll be snatched away from me. I'm just boiling with rage right now, why the fuck can't life be simple? I wish I could erase the past, I'm angry. At myself. At you. At everyone. I wish I could let all this anger out, wish I could just blurt everything. I hate suppressing anger, hate that so much anger has built up inside me I can just be set off in a blink of an eye. Hate that I can't be who I want to be because the past still haunts me, hate that whenever I feel like I'm doing good, like I'm progressing, I get angry because a voice in my head tells me that I'm not a good person and I never will be. Then images of the past just flashes through my mind reminding me of who I was, what I've done and I go back to square one. I hate carrying secrets around. I hate that I get annoyed, irritated and pissed off at the pettiest of things. I hate that I always screw things up. I'm living for nothing but I don't wanna die. I don't wanna die for nothing. I hate the fact that I'm like a mirror. I hate the fucking fact that it all sinks in when I'm alone. I'm angry because every time I know something, someone will make me happy, I cringe and refrain myself because I know that my happiness would be snatched away from me like always. I hate that I hate too much. But most of all, I hate the fact, that I've lost myself.
God, if you're mission was to make me one unhappy little fuck. Your mission is accomplished.
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